Wednesday 30 May 2012

Interview with a Picnic

16th December 2004, 2:15am

20 years ago I had breakfast. I now require a snack. I am the man. If an ambulance comes along, I'll have a nice, boring fish pie.

Privatise me Granny. As I lie on the floor I think of the days when baby me surprised himself by filling up his nappy with piss. A penny for your thoughts. 400 sweet yellow tulips sit on my lap. I would open the door, only I can't and I won't ever open the door again.

Bang the sheep and ban the jeep. Horrible shite. I can't believe my ears. I'm famous in two circles as a result of my frivolousness...trailing off is just...too appealing.